25 Things That Happen When You Go To Toby Carvery

25 Things That Happen When You Go To Toby Carvery
  1. You wait to get seated and are handed a weird buzzer thing, that sends a small earthquake shock to your table in the bar when your table is ready.
  2. Having the slightly unnecessary question from the waitress over whether you are here for the carvery.
  3. Oooooh, they do a breakfast, I will definitely get up Sunday morning for that.
  4. OCD compulsion of putting menus in order on the inclining menu stand
  5. Having the same discussion about which meat to have. Do you have all 3 or just one? You always have pork.
  6. Becoming an expert on queue analytics. You’re waiting for the opportune moment to strike.
  7. Judging the bloke in front of you having a super size plate. Secretly wishing you had done the same. One day, I will get that sausage and extra Yorkshire Pud.
  8. Feeling elated at getting the end of a meat joint, knowing you’ll get the precious extra scraps. Feel you have bonded with the chef as you are the Chosen One.
  9. Bit of banter with the chef about meat
  10. Yorkshire Pudding- big decision. Chef looks surprised when you don’t want one. Bit more bantz about Yorkshire Puds.
  11. Having more potatoes than is normally acceptable. Trying to get the extra crispy ones. You are still dismayed that the bloke in front of you took that rather delicious looking one from the edge of the pan. He knew you wanted that one, he could see it in your eyes.
  12. Quickly shoving unknown vegetables onto your plate, knowing that behind you is a queue of hungry people judging you for each spoonful you lay on.
  13. Everyone losing their shit when they run out of gravy at the sauce section. Thinking you might try the vegetable gravy, but nothing compares to the Tobey’s Beef Gravy.
  14. Carrying red hot plate to your table with a big of wad of surviettes, whilst also negotiating the gauntlet of tables and chairs while you make your way back to the table without spilling your gravy or bread sauce.
  15. Yes, waitress, the food is fine (has mouth full of food)
  16. Knocking your cutlery on to the floor and nicking a fork from the table next to you, leading to them nicking from the table next to them, creating a never ending cycle of cutlery theft.
  17. Remarking on the softness of the meat and how delightful it is. How do they get their pork so soft?
  18. Always thinking this is the time I will go up for a second helping of potatoes and veg, but never doing it. You always fill up on potatoes in round one. I like to think vegetarians go up for endless helpings….?
  19. Seeing your dad has cleared his plate of food. Acknowledge this with a slight eyebrow raise and a “hmmm?” that is to be replied with a “hmmmm!” to show appreciation of said food.
  20. Observing the strange pictures of vegetables on the walls. As if you’ve forgotten what they look like. They used to have pictures of Winston Churchill before the big revamp in Swindon.
  21. Feeling pity for the poor soul who has optimism at winning at the toy grab machine. Even though the most persistant, finely tuned, most talented toy grab operator wouldn’t stand a chance grabbing Kevin the Minion.
  22. Experiencing utter delirium at the thought of having free Coke (actually Pepsi) refills, though delirium extinguished after 3 glasses.
  23. Despite almost 80% consumption of potatoes, reading the menu for the dessert and always having Treacle Sponge.
  24. The waitress looking almost shocked that you’ve asked for more custard from your bottomless custard clause. 
  25. Remark to others about how full you are, next time you won’t eat as much……








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